Mega Mindy?

I watch more than my fair share of children’s programs. And not, as one might assume because I’ve got kids who are always watching them – alas I don’t even have that excuse. I’ve got 10 cats but they don’t care what’s on the television just as long as it’s on so they can sleep on top of it. The reason I watch children’s programs is because in a country littered with strange dialects and bizarre accents, the children’s programs speak Standard Dutch and they speak it really slowly. Also there are songs and lots of bright colors.

Mega Mindy is a big star on Belgian children’s programming. She is a superhero who works as a mild mannered police agent but does her real crime fighting in pink spandex and a much fuller hairdo.



None of this, of course, speaks well of the Belgian police force which apparently can't cope without superhero assistance.

And of course no one ever recognizes her when she’s back in her policewoman’s outfit. She explains the whole thing here:




Ah. Which brings us to her biggest dilemna. Like all superheros, Meg Mindy has a love interest who loves her back but they can’t quite get it together.

His name is Toby and he’s a fellow police officer.



Now here’s the thing: She’s in love with Toby, but Toby is in love with Mega Mindy, not knowing that his police lady friend is Mega Mindy. Try as she might, he’s only really into her when she’s wearing pink spandex.

Here is her hit song about Toby called, Toby Toby where you can see the unrequited lust just pouring off the screen. And yes, she’s driving a Volkswagon Thing:



It’s all very Superman/Clark Kent/Lois Lane Love Triangle that isn’t actually a triangle of course. But as a fan, I must say that I’m finding the whole thing rather emotionally frustrating. I mean how long am I supposed to stay hooked on the story as it is? I mean come on Toby! How daft can you be? I know men are clueless about fashion but are you really that swayed by a wardrobe change? I want to yell at Toby, “Hey Toby, WAKE UP! The mild-mannered police lady IS Mega Mindy!”....And the thing is, I think I’ll actually get the chance.

Mega Mindy not only has a hit TV show and music videos, she also does musical shows where she and Toby sing songs about their romantic frustration (How does he not get it when they’re doing a live show? Is he not even listening to the lyrics when he’s back stage?). So I can actually conceivably go and see them live where I can stand up taller than anyone else in the 3rd row (which won’t be hard as everyone else will be 7) and hold up a huge banner that says, Pas op, Toby! Die Politievrouw is Mega Mindy!!

All I will have to do is conceal the banner all through the opening act which is more often than not a group called K3:



A group of three suspiciously post-adolescent singers who call themselves “K3” because all their names begin with the letter “K”. ......And “KKK” was taken.

As long as none of the K3 people spot me or my banner, I’ll be fine. I’ll just lay low so they don’t wonder what someone their age is doing in the audience. Perhaps I’ll bring a kid with me for cover and pretend I’m its’ mother.

Then at the appropriate moment in the show, when Toby and Mega Mindy are standing on the stage, I will fly my banner and shout as loudly as I can and I don’t even care if I get arrested because I’m doing it in the name of love and they’ll thank me later.



And I’m sure, Toby, that if you ask nicely she’ll wear the pink spandex outfit when you two are alone.
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