Ernesto

So every now and then when we go to the critter supply shop for kitty litter or hay or various other things, we ask if they have any wounded critters in the back. Because here's something you should know about pet shops: when critters are wounded they send them back to the breeders as "damaged goods" and more often then not the critters are killed. And usually this is for nothing more than a cosmetic shortcoming.

So a few nights ago we got one such critter - a dwarf hamster called Ernesto. He had gone home with a family but when he developed a strange growth on his face they brought him back. The photo above is not of the actual Ernesto because we don't currently have a working camera - this is just what Ernesto would look like without something that looks like a piece of bubblegum on his face. But here's the thing: Ernesto is perfectly healthy in every other way! So he's not going to make the cover of GQ Magazine? What the hell? I hear they don't use many dwarf hamsters on their covers anyway.

Ernesto has only been with us a few days but already he's settling in and having a great time climbing around in his cage and the growth on his face actually seems to be reducing. It's amazing what a little love can do.
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Mega Mindy?

I watch more than my fair share of children’s programs. And not, as one might assume because I’ve got kids who are always watching them – alas I don’t even have that excuse. I’ve got 10 cats but they don’t care what’s on the television just as long as it’s on so they can sleep on top of it. The reason I watch children’s programs is because in a country littered with strange dialects and bizarre accents, the children’s programs speak Standard Dutch and they speak it really slowly. Also there are songs and lots of bright colors.

Mega Mindy is a big star on Belgian children’s programming. She is a superhero who works as a mild mannered police agent but does her real crime fighting in pink spandex and a much fuller hairdo.



None of this, of course, speaks well of the Belgian police force which apparently can't cope without superhero assistance.

And of course no one ever recognizes her when she’s back in her policewoman’s outfit. She explains the whole thing here:




Ah. Which brings us to her biggest dilemna. Like all superheros, Meg Mindy has a love interest who loves her back but they can’t quite get it together.

His name is Toby and he’s a fellow police officer.



Now here’s the thing: She’s in love with Toby, but Toby is in love with Mega Mindy, not knowing that his police lady friend is Mega Mindy. Try as she might, he’s only really into her when she’s wearing pink spandex.

Here is her hit song about Toby called, Toby Toby where you can see the unrequited lust just pouring off the screen. And yes, she’s driving a Volkswagon Thing:



It’s all very Superman/Clark Kent/Lois Lane Love Triangle that isn’t actually a triangle of course. But as a fan, I must say that I’m finding the whole thing rather emotionally frustrating. I mean how long am I supposed to stay hooked on the story as it is? I mean come on Toby! How daft can you be? I know men are clueless about fashion but are you really that swayed by a wardrobe change? I want to yell at Toby, “Hey Toby, WAKE UP! The mild-mannered police lady IS Mega Mindy!”....And the thing is, I think I’ll actually get the chance.

Mega Mindy not only has a hit TV show and music videos, she also does musical shows where she and Toby sing songs about their romantic frustration (How does he not get it when they’re doing a live show? Is he not even listening to the lyrics when he’s back stage?). So I can actually conceivably go and see them live where I can stand up taller than anyone else in the 3rd row (which won’t be hard as everyone else will be 7) and hold up a huge banner that says, Pas op, Toby! Die Politievrouw is Mega Mindy!!

All I will have to do is conceal the banner all through the opening act which is more often than not a group called K3:



A group of three suspiciously post-adolescent singers who call themselves “K3” because all their names begin with the letter “K”. ......And “KKK” was taken.

As long as none of the K3 people spot me or my banner, I’ll be fine. I’ll just lay low so they don’t wonder what someone their age is doing in the audience. Perhaps I’ll bring a kid with me for cover and pretend I’m its’ mother.

Then at the appropriate moment in the show, when Toby and Mega Mindy are standing on the stage, I will fly my banner and shout as loudly as I can and I don’t even care if I get arrested because I’m doing it in the name of love and they’ll thank me later.



And I’m sure, Toby, that if you ask nicely she’ll wear the pink spandex outfit when you two are alone.
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Here's What I Did on Election Night

1. At 6:30 PM, I went to my Belgian Orientation class which is a pain in my backside, but it's required by law.

2. During class I noticed that there was a huge cluster of cat boogers on the sleeve of my black coat. Yes I said "cat boogers". My cat Peanut has a cold and we find that the cats like to sneeze on things we own to sort of "share" it with us. And apparently she had had a big sneezing session on my coat without my knowledge and I'd been walking around with it. So anyhoo, I had to find a way to conceal it until the break.

3. I spent the duration of the break in the W.C. scrubbing an alarmingly large cluster of dried-on cat boogers off the sleeve of my coat. I ended up having to soak most of the sleeve in the sink and work everything out with bits of paper towel and soap. When people came in I pretended like it was all perfectly normal and I avoided eye contact.

4. Wim picked me up from the class and we drove straight for my gig in Antwerp. The sleeve of my coat was still wet, but at least it wasn't covered with cat boogers.

5. Arrived at the gig were they were having a whole event dedicated to the American election. There were screens up everywhere with CNN coverage and red, white, and blue balloons (which could easily have been leftover from events celebrating France, Holland or Britain, but one never knows). There was even an "American Hot Dog Stand" where I ordered a vegan hot dog (which was, as it happened, a hot dog bun with sauerkraut but no meat).

6. I watched the show (such as it was) where they clearly hadn't decided wether to talk or show videos or watch TV or all of the above all at once. I had another sauerkraut "dog" which was rather fabulous, I must say.

7. Just when the crowd was at its' loudest and most inattentive, they brought me on stage. I spent the next 20 minutes yelling at the top of my lungs in my Obama '08 T-shirt.

8. My set thankfully over, I gladly accepted a beer from an audience member even though I'm on a diet because I was slightly traumatized (and that was as good an excuse as any).

9. I spent the next hour assuring Obama-supporting Belgians that I was certain he would win. Because I just knew.

10. We drove home listening to lots of election stuff on the radio. Also more than the usual amount of Motown hits.

11. We set up the fold-out couch preparing to stay up until 6:00 AM and see the results. Wim was worried that McCain might win, but I assured him that Obama was going to win. Because, like I said, I just knew. Then we fell asleep.

12. About 6:00-something in the morning, Wim woke me up saying something about Obama winning, but as I think I've pointed out, I knew already. But Wim was awake and saw the actual moment when it happened so he's forever cooler than me now. Either way it was decided (by him) that it was time for me to wake up and we watched lots of stuff about the election he recorded on TV.

13. Having had no sleep, I went for a long walk/run for about an hour and it rained on me and now I've got a cold which I'm certain I caught from Peanut and then was aggravated by the weather.

14. So now I'm sniffling and sneezing but I'm pretty happy about the Obama win, even though it was no surprise to me.
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The American Elections - What Does The World Think?

This is really interesting click on it!!:

If The World Could Vote