12 July 2012

List of words I Hate


1. "Awesome"  - I've hated this since its' introduction into the vernacular ca. 2002, and I am very proud to say that I have never and will never use it in a sentence.  Enough is enough, people. It needs to go.

2. "Trending" - What? I should like it because lots of other people are looking at it? What am I? A trained seal?

3. "Cosplay" - can't you just wear a costume without making it sound so creepy?

4. All the "trends" on Twitter. I realize this isn't a word per se, but I hate it and all who adhere to it, nonetheless. While we're at it, I also hate Twitter.

5. "Lady Gaga" - I realize this isn't a word per se but instead a soulless pop singer who sounds like what happens when your CD skips and you're too drunk to get up and change it, but I hate her nonetheless.

6. "Aubergine" a.k.a. "Eggplant". - I realize this is not only a word but also a squooshy malformed vegetable, but I hate it nonetheless. I wish people would stop feeling the need to feed it to me just because I'm a vegan.

7. "RIP____________" - I realize this is not a word per se, but an abbreviation followed by the Dead Celebrity Du Jour on Facebook/Twitter, but I hate it nonetheless.  Unless you were a gushing fan of "___________" before his/her demise, please stop acting as if your world has ended because of the "loss".

8. "Curvy" when what you mean is "fat". Just say, "fat". Those aren't curves keeping me from fitting into my skinny jeans.

9. The Dutch "sch" blend at the beginning of a word. I can't pronounce it, never will, and therefore I refuse to ever say any word that employs it. I realize this is not a word per se, but an annoying unnecessary sound that you can't say without spitting, but I hate it nonetheless.

10.  When people say "just can't" when they should say, "can't just". For instance, "You just can't barge in here like that"....No, no, no, it should be, "You CAN'T JUST barge in here like that". Why? Do I really need to explain this? And do I really need to explain it to JOURNALISTS who seem to do it all the time?.....I realize this is not a word per se, but an oft repeated mistake that makes me cringe, but I hate it nonetheless.

11. "I could care less".  No, no, no, it's, "I COULDN'T care less". If you COULD care less, then you wouldn't be caring the absolute least amount, hence rendering the expression impotent. I realize this isn't a word per say, but yet another mis-ordering of words that makes people think I'M the one with the problem when I point it out, but I hate it nonetheless.

So there.


"Epic" (Thank you, Dean Bord).  "Epic" is the fast-rising ugly twin of "Awesome", methinks.
"Vagina" - not as a word per se, but in the fact that you quite literally can't look at any comedy tape or sitcom coming out of America in the past few years without them saying this word AT LEAST once as if it's the funniest thing anyone ever said. In fact, I'm not sure which I hate the most: the certainty that the word will be used, or the self-satisfied smirk on the person who said it as if they've just said something incredibly edgy and original. Ugh.

OK. My work here is done.