OK - I've had insomnia for almost a week now. It's a chronic thing with me. Loooooong story. But one thing I do when I'm literally up all night is that I cruise the internet like crazy in search of entertainment. And, my friends, I found it:
All of you in the US have probably had Extreme makeover Home Edition for a while now, but it's a relatively new thing here. It only took me a few episodes to figure out that their theme was Those With The Biggest Sob Story Get The Goodies. So I sought out their website, and I found the forum where people post to try to get on the show, and I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. It's a festival of postings by people trying to outdo each other with their hardships, and criticizing others for not being pathetic enough. Pure comedy gold! So anyway, I've registered as a member on the site and made my own posting, which I have copied below. Here is the link to the site if you would like to follow along and see what responses I get, or if you just want to read some of the other postings:
Extreme Pouting/Home Edition
Here is what I posted (spelling mistakes completely intentional) I just followed the template set forth by other postings and I ran with it:
"I don't wanna complane because lots of people got lots of bad problems. But if you could see the room I'm sitting in you would cry. My hole house is a mess because my hole family suffers from a condition where they are just uncoordinated. The doctors don't have a name for it. We've been a few times and told them everything and they just shrug there shoulders and now we can't even go anymore because my husband got his head stuck in a drawer at work and got laid off. So no more benefits.
My oldest son is 16 and he just learned how to drive and my husband was teaching him out in front of the house, which was hard for him because his head still hurts from where they had to cut him out of the drawer and they slipped and took 2 inches of his scalp off. So my son is trying to park the car and he drove it right into the front porch. It got caught on a microwave oven we got out there and he couldn't back up so my oldest daughter, who's 17 and a big girl, went out to help by pulling from the other side and he ran her over. Now she's got 2 broken ribs and she had to have her hair extensions taken out. Turns out when she fell backwards she fell on Homer, our dog, and he's OK but he bit her butt pretty hard and now she can't sit down for two weeks which is hard, because like I said, she's a big girl. Usually she takes a bath but now she has to stand in the shower and she can't close the door all the way so water got on the floor too much and now we got a mold problem in the bathroom. I was trying to clean up the mold but it's real slippery and I fell forwards and broke fingers on both my hands so my 12 years old daughter is typing this for me. The day that my son drove into the front of the house my daughter thought it was funny and she couldn't stop laughing and she laughed so hard till she peed on the couch. So now the couch smells bad on top of everything else but what am I gonna do, until my husband goes back to work we can't pay for anything. I only work as a massage therapist and I'm having to use my elbows only. Some of my customers have left because of this. But I know there are people worse off than me. God Bless."